Another week seemed to have flown by in a blur, unfortunately most of this week has been spent either worrying or travelling to visit dad in hospital, trust me I have no sympathy for him it is all self inflicted but I do feel for my brother who is left to deal with most oof it and who had to call the ambulance this time, they will eventually stop picking him up, this time he has left a blister on his foot to become so infected they are going to have to remove a toe and part of the bone from his foot, firstly apparently my brother has been nagging him for two weeks to see a doctor and not to leave it till he couldn't stand and Andrew (my brother) couldn't get him up from the sofa on his own, plus he is a diabetic with a heart condition who doesn't look after either condition which complicates everything, so going in with a blood sugar level of an average of 17 isn't the way to go, so he is now hooked up to a drip which combines saline and insulin twenty four hours a day and on mega antibiotics being fussed over left right and centre.If I was a little more paranoid I would say he did it on purpose as it is two weeks almost to the day when I moved out but he is out of luck I am trying really hard not to feel guilty and I am not going to visit him everyday (its a six round journey) and the only reason I am visiting so often as because I think my brrother is taking a lot of crap from him.
Don't get me wrong I love my Dad but I am not his guardian which is where I think when my nan died and he was sole carer of us the lines got a little blurred as to who was looking after who.
So I am off to visit him this afternoon and rather than come all the way back here to get back to Putney in the morning I am going to sleep over at my Dad's place so will be off line for a couple of days.
8 comments:
Take care, hope you have some good knitting to help the visiting. Aged parents who dont behave dont realise how their actions affect everyone else....
When I last did a lot of hospital visiting I ended up teaching the nurses how to knit...
It's a very difficult thing when parents need help - how much can/should we give, what other responsibilities we have, etc. Hope you manage to get through this OK.
Hug. I had a aged parent who had the same sorts of problems.
Look after yourself, I know where you are coming from. My mother was the same and I allowed myself to be guilt tripped and criticised until it was difficult to remember that I loved her. She is now in residential care close to my youngest brother who deals with her much better. Because he doesn't take crap from her and has a sense of his own worth she doesn't walk all over him. Maybe it is because we are women?
sorry to hear about your dad. ailing parents can be "tricky" to deal with.
do take care of yourself!
Just to add that caring for aging parents can be tough. I hope your dad gets better soon.
Hey I'm sorry I didn't know any of this when I emailed you yesterday or would have sent extra big hugs. What a mess. You definitely don't need to feel guilty. Have been readin 'families and to survive them' which can thoroughly recommend.
big hugs like everyone has sent
stick to your guns over your boundaries
it is hard and it might not feel good, but you are doing the right thing putting yourself first, and by helping out your brother
you dad may not know it, but he is old enough to look after himself (and he's not yet too old to look after himself either)
(like I'm an expert who knows what she's talking about!)
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