I am sorry that this post won't have a single piece of knitting in it and I can't even put up a pretty picture but that is another whole subject.
What has got you so wound up you ask yourself well where to start. I have been feeling really crappy over the last couple of days which has made all the christmas things i was behind on doing even further behind but this morning even though I don't feel great I felt a little better so was going to get a few things done and go off and visit dad. Doesn't matter too much about the germs there as he is in isolation gloves aprons and everything . So I just called dad to let him know but also to check out what the doctor had said that morning about him coming out for christmas dinner. We had it all worked out, we had found someone who would come and get him and return him with a car that is high enough that he won't have any problem to get in and out of. We had checked the resturant for wheelchair access and disabled toilet, all fine no problem.
So when dad rang me back. he never hears the phone first time, to tell me they are letting him out from Christmas eve to Boxing day, now he is very excited, and yes it is wonderful there are just one or two problems. The furthest my Dad has walked in the last six weeks is about two metres, they won't supply us with a wheelchair, not even if we leave a deposit, they have given us a list of rental places but it is two days before christmas, Andrew is at work all day and I am in Romford and the closest place is brentford which is closing early for the holidays. The best bit is Dads home is a house and the bathroom is upstairs, the hospital has offered to lend us a Kamod (not sure how to spell this) but may not be able to drop it off before christmas.
I have to say that I am just so angry, if they had even hinted that this was a possibility we would have been more organised about it, in fact the doctor at the beginning of the week said that there was no chance of this happening.
I guess part if the anger is that I am torn in two a bit as I can't get there christmas and there isn't really the option of us staying over with the dog with the cats and I am not sure I could do that to Andy anyway as it is also his grand daughters birthday and obviousley our first christmas together, but I alsoo remember what it is like looking after someone that way as it was just what I was doing two years ago with Robin and feel bad that Andrew is being left to it.
I think I am just having one of those weeks where it is one thing after another and I don't seem to be able to ever get on top of everything.
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6 comments:
Oh dear! Don't forget, you have a sister who can probably visit and if your brother can't cope he has to say so to the hospital - at the very worst your father can stay in and your other siblings can visit. Make sure your brother and sister know you can't come, then sit back and enjoy Christmas. I know it's hard to do, but stop feeling guilty. Your brother has obviously agreed to this, otherwise your dad wouldn't be coming home. You have a new life now Nic, let your family realise this the hard way if needs be.
Looking at the time you posted, you are seriously in need of some sleep.It sounds like your Dad is being sent home for the hospital's convenience, not yours. You could try having a go at Social Services, or his local GP, he might then have a go at SS. I think you mean a commode (portable loo), you can hire them from Red Cross along with wheelchair in normal circumstances. There is no transport, so you will have to let Andrew cope - and DO get some sleep.....
Might be a bit late but is it worth contacting a local nursing home or hospice or similar and asking if you could borrow a commode etc? Maybe someone like a vicar or GP's receptionist or something like that could help? They should have some contacts anyway. Good luck!
Oh Nic, what a gordian knot. I am sending big cyber hugs.
The NHS seems to be turning so crap, there used to be a time when they wouldn't let someone out unless all of this was in place. It even seems unfair to offer suggestions (supposing I even thought of any) as it it just asking you to do something else. Honestly I think in your position I would crawl into a corner and pull a blanket over my head.
Would it actually be so awful if your dad stayed in over Christmas? Would they let him? Maybe he could come out for a couple of days over new year instead?
Look after yourself.
Oh dude. Just call me if there's anything I can do xxxx
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