Thursday, August 25, 2005


Firstly an apology to anyone who has been trying to get in contact today, I'm afraid I turned my phone off for the day as I needed a day for myself.
Today would have been mine and Robins anniversary of when we first met so needed some time just to be. I thought I might spend the day in Hatfield but found out that Robins'son was working away from home this week so have put off the trip until next month so instead I decided to tackle a suitcase that has been haunting me since my return from Hatfield. It contains mostly things I brought in the states which I haven't looked since my return from Hatfield. There was a whole bunch of Christmas Decorations for our first proper Christmas together, he hadn't had a tree in many years hence no decorations so we had to start again, there was also the half finished felt stocking I was making for him and finally the newspapers with the announcement of his death. Now I'm not saying that it wasn't upsetting but something I needed to do and I'm also not saying that they didn't all go straight back in the suitcase but give me time. It also answered something else for me, it was osmething a friend said to me about something she had arranged, she described it as a good distraction. I'm not sure I want to be distracted and I definitely don't want to pretend it didn't happen, to be truthful I'm not quite sure what I want but I think after today I git a step closer.


Yvonne said...


first anniversaries are always the hardest and you need to spend them in the way that feels appropriate to you. We missed you tonight and hoped you were ok. Take care and I'll see you soon

Tracy said...

Reading this post just makes me want to give you a big hug. Like Yvonne says, "firsts" of everything are always the hardest.

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